My first day of teaching actually went pretty well, considering I really had no idea what I was doing for the majority of the day. I can already tell that my last class of the day (which is also my biggest, and meets right after lunch) will be my most challenging. The other two are a cakewalk. Of course, I say that now. Give me a few weeks to adjust and we'll see how my tune changes.
Anywho, I'm supposed to be prepping tomorrow's lesson (we're studying poetry!), but I just found this video and I had to post it. It's The Dark Knight trailer reenacted by toddlers. Man, it's creepy.
When I worked at Belk, we used to sell these flower keychains that played a pre-recorded child's giggle when you pressed them. I HATED those things. I found the giggling unsettling. My friend Stella used to laugh at me; I'd like to see her reaction to this video. :)
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Sunday Salon - High School Novel Unit
The new school year will be starting up soon, and I'm getting my lesson plans ready. One unit I'm really struggling with is my novel unit. I have a list of suggested reading for my 10th grade English students (the majority of whom will be remedial or inclusion), and I have to say, none of them interest me that much - Rebecca sounds boring, and my 7th graders read Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, so no. 
I have SOME leeway with my lessons and reading choices; I'm getting a technology grant, which gives me a little more freedom, and my principal is really encouraging and open to new ideas. One book I've been thinking about for the unit is Cory Doctorow's Little Brother. I just picked up a copy today, and will probably be putting everything else aside to read it. It sounds promising enough - a high school hacker gets in trouble with the Department of Homeland Security and has to fight the man to save the world - so I'm looking forward to it. I'm really just trying to find a book that my students will enjoy and actually WANT to read.Those of you who have read this/know someone who has - what do you think? Do you have any suggestions for other books jaded, bibliophobic 16-year-olds might like?
In other news...today was my last day at the grocery store, which means from now on I'll actually have my weekends free to read! And crochet, scrapbook, knit, cook foods I would actually eat, clean my apartment...
This week, I read:
The Baby-sitter's Club #55: Jessi's Gold Medal, Ann M. Martin
The Baby-sitter's Club Super Special #5: California Girls!, Ann M. Martin
The Baby-sitter's Club Super Special #6: New York, New York!, Ann M. Martin
Y: The Last Man #10: Whys and Wherefores, Brian K. Vaughn
Notice a pattern? I blame Bryce.
I'm currently reading:
Less Than Zero, Brett Easton Ellis - for the 1% Well-Read Challenge. This may also explain all the BSC books - I need something light and fluffy to counteract the nihilism. Whew.
Stitch 'N Bitch, Debbie Stoller - I'm learning how to knit! It's slow going (I've restarted the same scarf four times - I'm ready to call it a potholder and move on to something else), but a lot of fun!
The Yiddish Policemen's Union, Michael Chabon - my goal is to finish it this week.
TBR:
Too many to list, but Little Brother is at the top.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
I'm a Labrador Retriever!
One of my fellow MAT students sent out this quiz, and I took it as a joke. But I thought it was pretty cool that it pegged my likely career as "teacher," especially since I was just offered a job at a high school today.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Good-bye, Deli!
Today was my last day working in the deli. Words cannot describe how happy I am. Never again will I have to slice meat, never again will I have to fry chicken (and have my clothes stink like grease for the rest of the day), and never again will I have to cook a Philly cheese steak. I seriously hate those things. Never again will I have to listen to someone tell me they want me to slice their lunch meat "thin, but not shaved" - which makes NO SENSE, because if you wanted it shaved, you would've told me "shaved," now wouldn't you? And, God willing, never again will I have to hear someone ask me, "Y'all ain't got none more a them there's tater salads?" because I almost couldn't keep a straight face the first time.
In other news...hey! look what I made:
It's a Simpsons-ized me. Kinda. I'm not sure if the shirt was supposed to be pro-veggie, or just a twist on Bart's catchphrase, but I love it!
In other news...hey! look what I made:
It's a Simpsons-ized me. Kinda. I'm not sure if the shirt was supposed to be pro-veggie, or just a twist on Bart's catchphrase, but I love it!
Friday, March 23, 2007
A Taste of Madison
Today was actually a pretty good day at work, considering I had to actually be at work. When I showed up, Cindy was freaking out and trying to finish up a bunch of platters in preparation for the 8th annual Taste of Madison. I asked her about it, because 1) I'm nosy, and 2) I wasn't here for last year's ToM and had no idea what it was about. It's actually a pretty cool way to attract new customers: area restaurants and catering services bring samples to the Cultural Center, and then locals pay $20 to go in and try whatever they want.
Long story short, I was asked to go along. And it was awesome!
I ended up staying there for about 4 hours, then driving back to the store to help close. But I didn't even mind that, because I got out the store and I really enjoyed my job for a change.
I also found some really great new places to eat. One of the perks of working Taste of Madison was getting to sample everything, too - but for free! The two best discoveries were Adrian's collard greens (I asked the owner the secret, and she told me that she adds crushed red pepper, onion powder, vinegar, and garlic - it makes them slightly spicy, and delicious!) and O'Hara's apple wood bacon-wrapped scallops with lemon risotto (I peeled the bacon off and gave it to Tiffany, who showed up to take pictures). There were also tons of bakeries and dessert-only booths, with lots of yummy cakes and whatnot. Oh, and a coffee shop (possible replacement for Barista's, which closed down late last year) with lobster bisque and chai tea (which doesn't actually go together that well, but separately they were fab).
I could go on, but the point is that I found a TON of new places to eat, I got out of standing behind the deli counter for a few hours, and I had a nice day at work. Oh, and they paid me for mileage (since I had to drive back and forth in my own car), and I'll probably use that money to buy the second season of Veronica Mars. Yay!
Long story short, I was asked to go along. And it was awesome!
I ended up staying there for about 4 hours, then driving back to the store to help close. But I didn't even mind that, because I got out the store and I really enjoyed my job for a change.
I also found some really great new places to eat. One of the perks of working Taste of Madison was getting to sample everything, too - but for free! The two best discoveries were Adrian's collard greens (I asked the owner the secret, and she told me that she adds crushed red pepper, onion powder, vinegar, and garlic - it makes them slightly spicy, and delicious!) and O'Hara's apple wood bacon-wrapped scallops with lemon risotto (I peeled the bacon off and gave it to Tiffany, who showed up to take pictures). There were also tons of bakeries and dessert-only booths, with lots of yummy cakes and whatnot. Oh, and a coffee shop (possible replacement for Barista's, which closed down late last year) with lobster bisque and chai tea (which doesn't actually go together that well, but separately they were fab).
I could go on, but the point is that I found a TON of new places to eat, I got out of standing behind the deli counter for a few hours, and I had a nice day at work. Oh, and they paid me for mileage (since I had to drive back and forth in my own car), and I'll probably use that money to buy the second season of Veronica Mars. Yay!
Friday, March 09, 2007
Return of The Rage Diary!
I hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate my job. And I'm really not a hateful person. Normally, I dislike the word and prefer not to use it, but in this case it's actually a bit of an understatement.
I realized a while ago that I was much too smart to be wasting my time slicing meat and making sandwiches for spoiled rich assholes. However, the job market isn't exactly booming for English majors with poor-to-moderate computer skills, so I'm pretty much stuck here until I can find something better. Or until I finish up my MAT (if I'm not royally screwed over again, admission-wise) and get a job in the school system.
Why the sudden vehemence? Well, it's not entirely sudden. More like a seething rage that's been bubbling and building for several long months. It started out small, with the crappy mid- or closing shifts that no one particularly cared for but that I seemed to get stuck with with alarming regularity. It wasn't so bad when I could spend my nights playing video games and my mornings sleeping in, but when I started back to school it got a lot harder to schedule in study time. Especially when the library was only open while I was an hour away, catering to morons. The fact that my complaints and pleadings seemed to fall on deaf managerial ears only compounded my frustration.
The proverbial straw, however, was tonight's little incident. See, our deli has three sections: fried chicken, subs, and traditional/sliced meat. I was working in traditional, and I asked the next person in line what I could get for him. He mumbled something about a sub, so I pointed out the sub line and moved down to help. There were already two people waiting, but they were being taken care of so I asked the man to repeat his order. He mumbled some more, and I had to ask a few times before I finally ascertained that he wanted a Philly (the bane of any "sandwich artist"'s existence). I turned to get his bread, and when I came back, he had disappeared. The other customers in line were as confused as I, so I just moved on to the next patron. After about 5 minutes, the man (I'll call him "Phil") still hadn't returned. It turned out that he had gone up to the front to complain about me to the manager. About what, I still haven't a clue. But it was bad enough to almost earn me a write-up. I say "almost" because one of the other customers who had been waiting in the sub line was checking out at the same time, saw Phil complaining about me, waited until he left, then went to the manager and told him that he had been there the whole time and saw that I had done nothing wrong. He then came over and told me the same thing. The store manager never came to ask my side of the story, just called the assistant deli manager and told her to write me up. After she heard about the second man backing me up, she went to the manager herself and told him that she didn't want to write me up because she had received two conflicting accounts and didn't know what had actually happened. She was actually told to make Phil's sandwich and give it to him for free because of the incident, and when she took it up to him he apologized profusely, saying that he "hadn't wanted to go to the manager." First of all, then why did you? And second of all, if I'm the one at fault, why are you apologizing? Guilty conscience, maybe?
Whatever. I'm just glad that second guy was nice enough to come to my defense, because he saved me from a blemish on my otherwise spotless customer-service record. Not that I care all that much. I begged the deli manager to suspend me for a week (which is, believe it or not, typical punishment for such an infraction) - it would give me more time to study, see my boyfriend, and look for another job. She just laughed and told me not to worry about it.
I realized a while ago that I was much too smart to be wasting my time slicing meat and making sandwiches for spoiled rich assholes. However, the job market isn't exactly booming for English majors with poor-to-moderate computer skills, so I'm pretty much stuck here until I can find something better. Or until I finish up my MAT (if I'm not royally screwed over again, admission-wise) and get a job in the school system.
Why the sudden vehemence? Well, it's not entirely sudden. More like a seething rage that's been bubbling and building for several long months. It started out small, with the crappy mid- or closing shifts that no one particularly cared for but that I seemed to get stuck with with alarming regularity. It wasn't so bad when I could spend my nights playing video games and my mornings sleeping in, but when I started back to school it got a lot harder to schedule in study time. Especially when the library was only open while I was an hour away, catering to morons. The fact that my complaints and pleadings seemed to fall on deaf managerial ears only compounded my frustration.
The proverbial straw, however, was tonight's little incident. See, our deli has three sections: fried chicken, subs, and traditional/sliced meat. I was working in traditional, and I asked the next person in line what I could get for him. He mumbled something about a sub, so I pointed out the sub line and moved down to help. There were already two people waiting, but they were being taken care of so I asked the man to repeat his order. He mumbled some more, and I had to ask a few times before I finally ascertained that he wanted a Philly (the bane of any "sandwich artist"'s existence). I turned to get his bread, and when I came back, he had disappeared. The other customers in line were as confused as I, so I just moved on to the next patron. After about 5 minutes, the man (I'll call him "Phil") still hadn't returned. It turned out that he had gone up to the front to complain about me to the manager. About what, I still haven't a clue. But it was bad enough to almost earn me a write-up. I say "almost" because one of the other customers who had been waiting in the sub line was checking out at the same time, saw Phil complaining about me, waited until he left, then went to the manager and told him that he had been there the whole time and saw that I had done nothing wrong. He then came over and told me the same thing. The store manager never came to ask my side of the story, just called the assistant deli manager and told her to write me up. After she heard about the second man backing me up, she went to the manager herself and told him that she didn't want to write me up because she had received two conflicting accounts and didn't know what had actually happened. She was actually told to make Phil's sandwich and give it to him for free because of the incident, and when she took it up to him he apologized profusely, saying that he "hadn't wanted to go to the manager." First of all, then why did you? And second of all, if I'm the one at fault, why are you apologizing? Guilty conscience, maybe?
Whatever. I'm just glad that second guy was nice enough to come to my defense, because he saved me from a blemish on my otherwise spotless customer-service record. Not that I care all that much. I begged the deli manager to suspend me for a week (which is, believe it or not, typical punishment for such an infraction) - it would give me more time to study, see my boyfriend, and look for another job. She just laughed and told me not to worry about it.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Stupid Customer-isms
My job, for the most part, is pretty unbareable. My manager sucks - she rarely works on the floor with us, she's late almost every day, she never has the schedule done on time, and she's constantly taking credit for all the good work done by our assistant deli manager - and the customers are hella annoying. My coworkers are fun, though, and to help each other get through the days we've started compiling a list of the funny, stupid, or just plain ridiculous things our customers say to us everyday. I'm sure I'll be adding to this, as the never-ending weeks go by:
"Can I get a vegetarian sub with turkey?"
"This ham says that it costs $8.99 a pound, but I don't need that much. Can I just get half a pound?"
Coworker: "How would you like your meat sliced?"
Customer: "On a slicer."
Customer: "Do you have any ketchup?"
Coworker: "Ma'am, there's some on the shelf there."
Customer: "That's all Heinz ketchup. Don't you have another brand?"
Coworker: "No."
Customer: "Well, I can't use that one. I don't support him."
Coworker: "Who?"
Customer: "John Kerry."
Customer: "My husband wants a turkey for dinner tonight, but I don't feel like cooking. Can I just buy one of your turkeys?"
Me: "You might be better off buying a turkey in our meat department. The turkeys we have here are for slicing, and we would have to sell it to you by the pound, which would be pretty expensive. But the meat department has pre-cooked turkeys that you can just heat up in the oven."
Customer: "Ok, I'll go check over there."
*a few minutes later, as I'm walking through the store, I see the same customer*
Me: "Did you find what you were looking for?"
Customer: [holds up a jar of peanut butter] "Yes, thank you."
More to come...
"Can I get a vegetarian sub with turkey?"
"This ham says that it costs $8.99 a pound, but I don't need that much. Can I just get half a pound?"
Coworker: "How would you like your meat sliced?"
Customer: "On a slicer."
Customer: "Do you have any ketchup?"
Coworker: "Ma'am, there's some on the shelf there."
Customer: "That's all Heinz ketchup. Don't you have another brand?"
Coworker: "No."
Customer: "Well, I can't use that one. I don't support him."
Coworker: "Who?"
Customer: "John Kerry."
Customer: "My husband wants a turkey for dinner tonight, but I don't feel like cooking. Can I just buy one of your turkeys?"
Me: "You might be better off buying a turkey in our meat department. The turkeys we have here are for slicing, and we would have to sell it to you by the pound, which would be pretty expensive. But the meat department has pre-cooked turkeys that you can just heat up in the oven."
Customer: "Ok, I'll go check over there."
*a few minutes later, as I'm walking through the store, I see the same customer*
Me: "Did you find what you were looking for?"
Customer: [holds up a jar of peanut butter] "Yes, thank you."
More to come...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
The Castle: NOT a restaurant
So...my company sent me to SC to help set up for the new Spring season. It was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Drove up Monday morning, which was awesome because it was rainy here in Atlanta, and then almost as soon as I hit the state line, it suddenly cleared up and got really sunny and pretty outside.
Ghoti the traveling fish and Zeus the Moose (patron saint of my bad driving) accompanied me in the car, as always.
I wished I had been playing the license plate game (did anyone else play that during car rides as a kid?) because I saw plates from Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Tennessee (not surprising, since they're not that far away), and also New York, New Jersey, Virginia, Oklahoma, Oregon, Texas, Lousiana, Rhode Island, and California. So that was amusing. Also fun? Listening to my Sabrina the Teenage Witch soundtrack. Don't laugh - it's actually really great driving music, 'cause it's filled with semi-obscure mid-90s pop. And it was one of the few cassettes I had in my car - I couldn't listen to cds because my phone charger was using the adapter, and I couldn't find a radio station I liked. There was even a Phantom Planet song on there, from the first album, which was a big surprise. It totally made up for the Britney. Afterward, though, I turned the radio back on, and the first song I found was none other than "Baby Girl," performed by Georgia's own Sugarland (featuring Jennifer Nettles)! So that was awesome. I think I actually squealed aloud as I turned it up to sing along. It's always awesome to hear one of the your favorite local artists on the radio, especially when you're in a different state.
Ghoti in SC!
This is how you can tell we're not in GA anymore: Pepsi, Pepsi everywhere and not a Coke to drink. Sad.
The store I was sent to is in a mall, and it's also the biggest store in the Western Division. This place was huge. Like, 4x the size of my store in McDonough. A little bit intimidating. But the people were all really nice and I got to meet Farrah, who's one of the most awesome people ever.
One of the big projects Michael and I got to work on was turning two T-walls into Prep Rally shops (Prep Rally being one of our themes for this season). We started off painting the two walls a lovely shade of bright yellow:
The WALL OF DOOM! before (actually, after we painted it, but before we fixed it up)
And then added shelves, face-outs, lettering, clothes, etc:
My WOD! after
Michael's WOD! after
Our first full day, Farrah kept talking about how she wanted to take us to "the castle" to eat dinner one night. She said they had really great food, but it was somewhat expensive. I didn't mind, as work was reimbursing me for all food and gas expenses this trip. Michael and I mentioned to another visual, Joshua, that we were going to "the castle" one night, which earned us some very strange looks. Turns out, "The Castle" is a gay bar in the city, but "California Kitchen" (or something like that), which is shaped like a castle, is a restaurant down the street. We all had a good laugh at that.
Not THE Castle, just "the castle"
Our company spends thousands of dollars on very silly things. For instance, I regularly receive collateral for brands that my store does not even carry. This stuff gets thrown out, and is therefore a giant waste of money. They also spend gobs of money on stuff like this lamp, which I could probably make for $50:
The $5,000 grade-school arts-and-crafts project
And then there's this little mostrosity, that you couldn't pay me enough to even attempt:
The $6,000 hunting-lodge-decor-gone-horribly-wrong-yet-still-PETA-friendly-world's-ugliest-lamp
Ghoti the traveling fish and Zeus the Moose (patron saint of my bad driving) accompanied me in the car, as always.
I wished I had been playing the license plate game (did anyone else play that during car rides as a kid?) because I saw plates from Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Tennessee (not surprising, since they're not that far away), and also New York, New Jersey, Virginia, Oklahoma, Oregon, Texas, Lousiana, Rhode Island, and California. So that was amusing. Also fun? Listening to my Sabrina the Teenage Witch soundtrack. Don't laugh - it's actually really great driving music, 'cause it's filled with semi-obscure mid-90s pop. And it was one of the few cassettes I had in my car - I couldn't listen to cds because my phone charger was using the adapter, and I couldn't find a radio station I liked. There was even a Phantom Planet song on there, from the first album, which was a big surprise. It totally made up for the Britney. Afterward, though, I turned the radio back on, and the first song I found was none other than "Baby Girl," performed by Georgia's own Sugarland (featuring Jennifer Nettles)! So that was awesome. I think I actually squealed aloud as I turned it up to sing along. It's always awesome to hear one of the your favorite local artists on the radio, especially when you're in a different state.
Ghoti in SC!
This is how you can tell we're not in GA anymore: Pepsi, Pepsi everywhere and not a Coke to drink. Sad.
The store I was sent to is in a mall, and it's also the biggest store in the Western Division. This place was huge. Like, 4x the size of my store in McDonough. A little bit intimidating. But the people were all really nice and I got to meet Farrah, who's one of the most awesome people ever.
One of the big projects Michael and I got to work on was turning two T-walls into Prep Rally shops (Prep Rally being one of our themes for this season). We started off painting the two walls a lovely shade of bright yellow:
The WALL OF DOOM! before (actually, after we painted it, but before we fixed it up)
And then added shelves, face-outs, lettering, clothes, etc:
My WOD! after
Michael's WOD! after
Our first full day, Farrah kept talking about how she wanted to take us to "the castle" to eat dinner one night. She said they had really great food, but it was somewhat expensive. I didn't mind, as work was reimbursing me for all food and gas expenses this trip. Michael and I mentioned to another visual, Joshua, that we were going to "the castle" one night, which earned us some very strange looks. Turns out, "The Castle" is a gay bar in the city, but "California Kitchen" (or something like that), which is shaped like a castle, is a restaurant down the street. We all had a good laugh at that.
Not THE Castle, just "the castle"
Our company spends thousands of dollars on very silly things. For instance, I regularly receive collateral for brands that my store does not even carry. This stuff gets thrown out, and is therefore a giant waste of money. They also spend gobs of money on stuff like this lamp, which I could probably make for $50:
The $5,000 grade-school arts-and-crafts project
And then there's this little mostrosity, that you couldn't pay me enough to even attempt:
The $6,000 hunting-lodge-decor-gone-horribly-wrong-yet-still-PETA-friendly-world's-ugliest-lamp
Friday, March 04, 2005
Worst Week Ever!
Falling down a flight of stairs - DOWNGRADE!
Getting awesome drugs from the doctor - UPGRADE!
Having a visit from the corporate office to prepare for - DOWNGRADE!
Having a pre-visit-visit with the division managers, so they can tell you what needs to be fixed before the big visit - UPGRADE!
The division managers telling you that your store looks terrible and that you should be fired because you suck at your job - DOWNGRADE!
Your boss telling you that your store actually looks better than a lot of other stores in the region, and that you do not suck - UPGRADE!
Working late every night to fix all the crap the DMs want done - DOWNGRADE!
Getting paid extra $$ for working so much overtime - UPGRADE!
Missing your friend's birthday because you've been stuck at work every night - DOWNGRADE!
I finally have some time off tomorrow; unfortunately, I agreed to baby-sit Hunter, son of The Chad. Which really isn't that bad, cause he's 5 and a really cool little kid. Plus, I get to use Sis's SUV while my car is in the shop. I also have to send in my tax return, pay some bills, and go by the bank to deposit a few checks. And then I have to go back to work on Sunday. But I get a three-day weekend next week (possibly 4, if I stay late again every night) so that's something to look forward to.
Getting awesome drugs from the doctor - UPGRADE!
Having a visit from the corporate office to prepare for - DOWNGRADE!
Having a pre-visit-visit with the division managers, so they can tell you what needs to be fixed before the big visit - UPGRADE!
The division managers telling you that your store looks terrible and that you should be fired because you suck at your job - DOWNGRADE!
Your boss telling you that your store actually looks better than a lot of other stores in the region, and that you do not suck - UPGRADE!
Working late every night to fix all the crap the DMs want done - DOWNGRADE!
Getting paid extra $$ for working so much overtime - UPGRADE!
Missing your friend's birthday because you've been stuck at work every night - DOWNGRADE!
I finally have some time off tomorrow; unfortunately, I agreed to baby-sit Hunter, son of The Chad. Which really isn't that bad, cause he's 5 and a really cool little kid. Plus, I get to use Sis's SUV while my car is in the shop. I also have to send in my tax return, pay some bills, and go by the bank to deposit a few checks. And then I have to go back to work on Sunday. But I get a three-day weekend next week (possibly 4, if I stay late again every night) so that's something to look forward to.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Happy Single Persons Awareness Day!
I don't know about the rest of y'all, but this Valentine's Day wasn't nearly as craptacular as I expected it to be. Work was fun, and there were actually a few very amusing moments throughout the day. We started the day off with a mini-party in the breakroom, with cakes, cookies, candies, and coffee - pretty much any "c" word you can think of that had enough sugar and caffeine to keep us peppy and motivated. I spent the morning running around, handing out Harry Potter V-day cards and trying to ride out my sugar high.
Right after we opened the store, I saw a young guy (probably about 14 or 15) walking around, looking confused.
Me: Do you need any help?
Young Guy: *stares at my breasts* Yeah, those Dooney & Burke purses you have sitting out, are those the only ones you have?
Me: (slightly amused) Yeah, I'm sorry. Was there something else you needed?
Young Guy: *still staring* No, that's ok. Thanks.
I had to resist the urge to either slap him, or to snap my fingers, point toward my face and say, "Hey, my eyes are up here, dude." To be fair, I was wearing my V-day shirt (it's pink, says "FLIRT" on it, and only cost $5 at Target), but it's not like it takes 5 minutes to read one word.
Another amusing thing actually happens pretty regularly (at least since our sliding glass doors broke, and we had to put a sign up saying, "THESE DOORS ARE BROKEN, PLEASE USE SIDE DOORS"). Every once in a while, someone power-walking up to the doors won't notice/read the sign, or they'll be walking too fast to stop in time, and they walk right into them. So that's always fun. One time, we were still in our morning meeting when this woman practically ran up to the sliding glass doors and we all had to try not to laugh at the confused expression on her face. Another thing about the sliding glass doors; people seem to forget that they don't work when they're leaving the store as well. They'll just stand in front of them, waiting for them to open. Eventually, they notice the sign or just give up and use one of the side manual doors. You never realize how lazy people really are (how hard is it to use a manual door?) until you see something like that. And it may seem mean to laugh at something like that, but if you've ever worked retail and had to deal with bitchy people during a major holiday season, then you'd probably find it funny, too.
Also, we made Valentine's Day bags a few days ago. Like you did in elementary school, remember? When everyone decorated a paper bag with hearts and stuff and then you gave out cards and your teacher always made sure that everyone had a list with everyone's name on it so no one would feel left out? Yeah, anyway...my bag started out pretty generic. There were paper heart cutouts we could use, so I glued one of those on there, then cut out an arrow and pasted it so that it looked like it was piercing the heart. Then I decided to draw some blood dripping down, and ended up with a little puddle of blood on the bottom of the bag. The reactions to this object d'arte ranged from "cute," to "interesting," to "morbid." One ASM just assumed it was a political statement (because I'm a bleeding-heart liberal, I guess), which I thought was funny. I tried telling everyone it was "emo," but since only one other coworker even knew what I was talking about, it wasn't that funny. Oh, well.
Right after we opened the store, I saw a young guy (probably about 14 or 15) walking around, looking confused.
Me: Do you need any help?
Young Guy: *stares at my breasts* Yeah, those Dooney & Burke purses you have sitting out, are those the only ones you have?
Me: (slightly amused) Yeah, I'm sorry. Was there something else you needed?
Young Guy: *still staring* No, that's ok. Thanks.
I had to resist the urge to either slap him, or to snap my fingers, point toward my face and say, "Hey, my eyes are up here, dude." To be fair, I was wearing my V-day shirt (it's pink, says "FLIRT" on it, and only cost $5 at Target), but it's not like it takes 5 minutes to read one word.
Another amusing thing actually happens pretty regularly (at least since our sliding glass doors broke, and we had to put a sign up saying, "THESE DOORS ARE BROKEN, PLEASE USE SIDE DOORS"). Every once in a while, someone power-walking up to the doors won't notice/read the sign, or they'll be walking too fast to stop in time, and they walk right into them. So that's always fun. One time, we were still in our morning meeting when this woman practically ran up to the sliding glass doors and we all had to try not to laugh at the confused expression on her face. Another thing about the sliding glass doors; people seem to forget that they don't work when they're leaving the store as well. They'll just stand in front of them, waiting for them to open. Eventually, they notice the sign or just give up and use one of the side manual doors. You never realize how lazy people really are (how hard is it to use a manual door?) until you see something like that. And it may seem mean to laugh at something like that, but if you've ever worked retail and had to deal with bitchy people during a major holiday season, then you'd probably find it funny, too.
Also, we made Valentine's Day bags a few days ago. Like you did in elementary school, remember? When everyone decorated a paper bag with hearts and stuff and then you gave out cards and your teacher always made sure that everyone had a list with everyone's name on it so no one would feel left out? Yeah, anyway...my bag started out pretty generic. There were paper heart cutouts we could use, so I glued one of those on there, then cut out an arrow and pasted it so that it looked like it was piercing the heart. Then I decided to draw some blood dripping down, and ended up with a little puddle of blood on the bottom of the bag. The reactions to this object d'arte ranged from "cute," to "interesting," to "morbid." One ASM just assumed it was a political statement (because I'm a bleeding-heart liberal, I guess), which I thought was funny. I tried telling everyone it was "emo," but since only one other coworker even knew what I was talking about, it wasn't that funny. Oh, well.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Buster Meets Four Mommies
Yesterday at work, we had two girls trying to shoplift a whole bunch of stuff. Luckily, they realized we were on to them and dropped the merchandise (about $900 worth) just before they left the store. The best part? As they were walking out, The Rolling Stones' "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" started playing.
And apparently, the PBS cartoon "Arthur" is getting in trouble because the character Buster the Bunny goes to Vermont to learn about maple syrup and ends up meeting two sets of lesbian mothers. I think it's great PBS is willing to show something like that, but it may not air because so many conservatives are making such a fuss. I'm sorry, but this is one of those cases where I believe you should just turn it off if it offends you. There's a homosexual couple in that T-Mobile commercial ("Why is my cell phone bill so high?" "Who have you been talking to?" "YOU!") but no one's protesting them. I think it's great that PBS is trying to teach kids about different kinds of families and encouraging tolerance at an early age. "Arthur" can be the Heather Has Two Mommies for the new generation.
And apparently, the PBS cartoon "Arthur" is getting in trouble because the character Buster the Bunny goes to Vermont to learn about maple syrup and ends up meeting two sets of lesbian mothers. I think it's great PBS is willing to show something like that, but it may not air because so many conservatives are making such a fuss. I'm sorry, but this is one of those cases where I believe you should just turn it off if it offends you. There's a homosexual couple in that T-Mobile commercial ("Why is my cell phone bill so high?" "Who have you been talking to?" "YOU!") but no one's protesting them. I think it's great that PBS is trying to teach kids about different kinds of families and encouraging tolerance at an early age. "Arthur" can be the Heather Has Two Mommies for the new generation.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Mrs. Frisby
We have a mouse at the store. She's been there a while, apparently, but the exterminator just came last week to put out a fresh batch of sticky traps (similar to flypaper) to catch it. When I first heard about it, I went all PETA on the receiving manager, Gerald: "You guys aren't going to hurt it, are you? You'll set it free after you catch it, right?" But he just laughed at me.
I have a rep at work for being a bleeding-heart animal lover - as it stands, I am the only vegetarian there, and I was ridiculed mercilessly for saving a black widow spider and releasing it outside, only to learn later that someone else had seen it and stepped on it. So, they knew I would be all gung-ho for saving the mouse. Until I walked into my office last week and discovered that it had eaten some of the chocolate sitting in a candy dish on my desk.
This meant war. You don't mess with a girl's chocolate.
I decided to use it as bait. I got one of the sticky traps from Gerald, and we put it in my visual room with some of the chocolate in the center. If it wanted the chocolate, it would have to step on the trap, where it would be stuck until we could dispose of it (humanely). Well, it seemed like a good idea...until I walked in this morning and saw that the mouse had moved one piece of chocolate so that it formed a bridge to the other piece, so that it wouldn't need to step on the sticky part of the trap to get to it! I have no idea how the mouse accomplished this, but I do know that I have a whole new respect for it. I named it Mrs. Frisby (after the Secret of NIMH) and have decided that we'll probably never catch her, because she seems way too smart.
I have a rep at work for being a bleeding-heart animal lover - as it stands, I am the only vegetarian there, and I was ridiculed mercilessly for saving a black widow spider and releasing it outside, only to learn later that someone else had seen it and stepped on it. So, they knew I would be all gung-ho for saving the mouse. Until I walked into my office last week and discovered that it had eaten some of the chocolate sitting in a candy dish on my desk.
This meant war. You don't mess with a girl's chocolate.
I decided to use it as bait. I got one of the sticky traps from Gerald, and we put it in my visual room with some of the chocolate in the center. If it wanted the chocolate, it would have to step on the trap, where it would be stuck until we could dispose of it (humanely). Well, it seemed like a good idea...until I walked in this morning and saw that the mouse had moved one piece of chocolate so that it formed a bridge to the other piece, so that it wouldn't need to step on the sticky part of the trap to get to it! I have no idea how the mouse accomplished this, but I do know that I have a whole new respect for it. I named it Mrs. Frisby (after the Secret of NIMH) and have decided that we'll probably never catch her, because she seems way too smart.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
If you didn't vote today, I guess you're dead by now...
Overheard at work today (one old lady talking to another):
"What you have to do, is vote the way Jesus would. That's why I voted for Bush, and I've been praying every night that he'll win."
"What you have to do, is vote the way Jesus would. That's why I voted for Bush, and I've been praying every night that he'll win."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)