Dorkus Maxima

So, who's fanatical enough about the new Harry Potter book to dress up in costume, attend a "Grand Hallows Ball," and finish the book in under 24 hours?

...that would be me.



Poor Tim got dragged in, too.

But seriously, 759 pages in 23 hours, 40 minutes (less, actually, once you take out the time I spent sleeping, eating, and - unfortunately - working) must be some kind of record, right?

Now, it's time for some much-needed sleep. And some more crying, probably. This book was awesome!

ALVIN!!!

With the release of the Transformers movie earlier this week, the subject of other beloved cartoons-to-big-screen-movies came up. Best Week Ever has a list of the top 10 movies that ruined their childhood memories, and I just discovered a new one to add to that list: Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Let's check out the metamorphosis of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore, shall we?

The trio actually began as a fictional music group. Created by Ross Bagdasarian (who provided the voices until his death in 1972), they enjoyed success with their hit single, "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)." The record won three Grammy awards and was even nominated for Record of the Year.



The first cartoon series ran for only one year, 1961 - 1962. It was originally broadcast in black-and-white, but was produced and later re-run in color.



The second cartoon series (the one that my generation is more familiar with) ran from 1983 - 1991, although it did switch names a few times. The series also brought us The Chipettes (female versions of The Chipmunks), an animated feature film, two direct-to-video animated movies, and one live-action direct-to-video movie.

Which brings us to...



This. I actually spent a few minutes looking at this poster, trying to figure out if "Dave" was Jason Lee (it is) or Stephen Colbert. Can you imagine Stephen Colbert as Dave? That would be awesome. Not that Jason Lee won't be, but c'mon. We've all seen the trailer for Underdog, right? So, yeah. Maybe this will be a decent movie. I mean, with CGI'd gansta-wannabe Chipmunks, and the director of Garfield at the helm, what could go wrong?

You can read more about Alvin & co on their Wikipedia page. Here's hoping they don't decide to go after Jem and the Holograms or Rainbow Brite next.

10 things you should know about your grocery store

MSNBC has posted a list of 10 Things Your Grocery Store Doesn't Want You to Know. Seeing as I work in a grocery store, and would like the chance to defend my store (even though it sucks sometimes), here's my response:

1. The shopping carts have cooties.

Well, duh. So do most doors, railings, and pretty much anything else a large group of people (not to mention their grubby kids) put their hands on on a regular basis. My store provides handi-wipes that customers can use to sanitize the carts before use. If you're really worried about cooties, give yourself a cootie shot (kidding, but just barely) and make sure you wash all your raw produce and fully cook all your food before you eat it. Washing your hands often also helps.

2. Dates are open to interpretation.

This is true. The majority of foodstuffs are actually good for another few days after their printed "sell-by" date. Stuff like deli meat, however, should be eaten within 3-4 days (cheeses last a little longer). In the deli, we keep most meat after it's been opened for 7 days, then toss it.

3. Kid-friendly food is purposely placed within their reach.

Well, yeah. That's just a clever marketing strategy.

4. They cut up food so they can charge more.

Yep, we exploit lazy people for more money. Here's the thing: if you want something that's difficult to cut up (like a pineapple), pick out a non-cut one, then take it to the produce counter and ask them to core it for you. They have a machine that will do it, and they (hopefully) won't charge you for it. I once used a deli slicer to shred lettuce for a customer (I told him I couldn't guarantee there wouldn't be bits of meat still on it, but he didn't mind). Remember: the customer is always right, most places will go out of their way to make you happy, and chances are, whatever you're about to request is not something they haven't heard before. It never hurts to ask.

5. Good-for-you foods require bending and reaching.

Not necessarily. Check to see if your store has an organic or healthy section (we have four - one for organic produce; one for organic dry foods, such as cereals and chips; one for organic dairy; and one for organic meat). These areas are clearly marked, and hard to miss. For some reason, vegetarian foods (such as Tofurky!) are kept near the organic produce - because it's made out of vegetables? - so check these places if you want healthy foods.

6. End-of-aisle displays are there to distract you from your mission.

I don't know why someone would assume that just because something is located at the end of the aisle, that makes it a better deal. That sounds pretty nonsensical. Off the top of my head, things we're selling on our end-caps right now:

Knock-off Vera Bradley purses, Mission chips (on sale), Nabisco products (either crackers or cookies, I can't remember, but they're always there), Thomas' English muffins (on sale, but they're usually sold there), 12-packs of Coke products (same as the muffins), wine, children's fishing gear (we're a lake community, after all), Little Debbie snack cakes, some sort of cereal (on sale), Pantene Pro-V shampoo and condition (special promotion), sunscreen (it's the summer), refrigerated pasta and sauce, ice, and those nifty bags that keep foods cold or hot or frozen for up to three hours!

I don't think we've ever advertised our sale items on the end-caps. We have a special clearance section at the front of the store, but the rest of the sales are advertised throughout the store. The end-caps are usually reserved for seasonal items or special promotions.

7. Bargains aren’t always a bargain.

Didn't some sociologist somewhere discover that people believed buying something for 99 cents was a much better deal than buying it for $1, even though it's essentially the same price? Same sorta thing. My advice: make a list before you go, and don't buy anything not on the list. If you want to check out the sales, read the paper before you go and make sure you're getting a deal.

Fun fact: you know those "Early Bird" specials department stores advertise for sale days? Speaking from experience, they're usually not much of a bargain. I remember one sale when our "Doorbuster" specials were (at most) one or two dollars off the regularly advertised sale price. If you want a really good deal on clothes, the best times to shop are at the end of season sales. The only problem with doing this is that you may not be able to find your size. Unless it's something that you really can't live without, it's better to wait until it's at least half price.

8. You’ll walk the store the way they want you to.

Like I said, make a list before you go, and this won't be a problem. Our bakery department is at the front of the store, but they don't make that much money, so I don't know how sound this logic is.

9. The salad bar can make you sick.

We have strict health code standards that we have to abide by - chicken is tossed after 3 hours of being cooked, food has to be maintained at a certain temperature to prevent contamination, and we FIFO (First In, First Out) all of our perishable foods. I wouldn't be eating the pre-made crap anyway - do you know how much unnecessary fat, calories, salt, and sugar that adds to your diet?

10. They don’t always clean as often as they should.

I don't know where this guy shops, but it's not at my store. We clean our equipment constantly, and do a thorough cleaning of the department every night. If your grocery store has visible bugs or dust, for heaven's sake, shop somewhere else! It's been my experience, however, that cleaner stores + better customer service = higher prices. I guess it just depends on what's more important to you.

Some other stuff to know:

The best time to shop is in the early morning. Stores usually aren't crowded, and that's when the fresh produce comes in. Also, most managers work during the day, so if you have a problem or a question, you can go to them and they'll be guaranteed to fix it and make you happy. If you don't see something that you want, go to the customer service counter and ask them to special order it.

Good-bye, Deli!

Today was my last day working in the deli. Words cannot describe how happy I am. Never again will I have to slice meat, never again will I have to fry chicken (and have my clothes stink like grease for the rest of the day), and never again will I have to cook a Philly cheese steak. I seriously hate those things. Never again will I have to listen to someone tell me they want me to slice their lunch meat "thin, but not shaved" - which makes NO SENSE, because if you wanted it shaved, you would've told me "shaved," now wouldn't you? And, God willing, never again will I have to hear someone ask me, "Y'all ain't got none more a them there's tater salads?" because I almost couldn't keep a straight face the first time.

In other news...hey! look what I made:

 

It's a Simpsons-ized me. Kinda. I'm not sure if the shirt was supposed to be pro-veggie, or just a twist on Bart's catchphrase, but I love it!

Updatey

If you read this blog in Google Reader, you're probably seeing some really old posts that don't make much sense or refer to some really old events. Sorry about that. I deleted my old Livejournal blog this morning, and I moved a few posts over to Blogger before I shut it down. My 101 things to do in 1001 days post was the important one (to me, at least), although after looking over it for the first time in a few months, I've realized I might need to edit a few of those goals.

It's sad, looking over the list, to see how frivolous and - not naive, exactly, but irresponsible? I can't think of the word I'm looking for right now; maybe immature - I used to be. When I first came up with that list, I was 25, living in Atlanta, working a dead-end job with no thoughts or cares for the future. As you can read in the list, I mostly wanted to travel and spend money that I now realize I didn't even have at the time. In the past two years, my priorities have shifted. I'm not getting drunk and high with my friends on the weekends, living off credit cards and holding out hope that someday I'll win the lottery and never have to really work for what I want in life. Partly because I no longer have credit cards, but also partly because I want to do something with my life that doesn't involve working retail and spending all day in bed. (I should probably note that I'm still in my pajamas, but I actually woke up at 9 a.m., bleary-eyed and bushy-haired, and have spent the morning cleaning and doing laundry. So there.)

I start work on Master's degree at GC&SU next week, so I figure that's a good time for turning over a new leaf. I'll be going through my 101 things list, weeding out the expensive pipe dreams and replacing them with goals that 1) I can actually accomplish, given my limit budget and time constraints, 2) will help me improve in some way, or 3) I have been putting off for a while, but that I need to see through to the end (I'm thinking unfinished scrapbooks, a half-made baby blanket, and FINALLY beating FFVII). Which goes to show that I'm not eschewing frivolity completely - I'll still be checking BWE, I'll still be playing my video games, I'll still be reading my comics, and I'll still be debating whether or not to order this awesome Veronica Mars-inspired T-shirt from Glarkware. Although I only have until Saturday to decide on that last one.

In the meantime, here are some blogs that I've been reading in my quest to Become A Better Person:

Back in skinny jeans - not that I ever fit into skinny jeans in the first place, mind you, but this site has info and encouragement about dieting, exercise, and other stuff dealing with beauty and self-perception.

unclutterer - a blog about minimalizing your life. Anyone who's seen the interior of my car knows I could use a few tips.

Lifehacker - deals with productivity. Their slogan: "Don't live to geek; geek to live." Love!

Think Progress - my progressive political fix.

Presidential-ish links I find amusing

First off, Elizabeth Edwards confronts Ann Coulter about lowering the bar for political discourse and Ann reacts by being, well, her bitchy self. Almost as good as watching this high school kid giving Bill O'Reilly what-for.

And secondly, some guy nicknamed "The Impaler" is running for president. Strangely, I'm reminded of the kid from Real Ultimate Power:

"My name is Jonathon The Impaler Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. I am running for Governor of Minnesota in 2006 and for President in 2008. I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares. I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my enemy. However, it doesn't mean that I hate all his followers. This Country was founded on religious rights and freedoms. This is guaranteed under the 1st Amendment of our great constitution. This right allows me to worship Lucifer and the Goddess Hecate, just as it allows you to worship the Goddess/God of your choice. I have a 13 point platform that includes better benefits for farmers and veterans. I will also give more funding to our school system and fix the pot holes on our city streets. Not to mention the FACT that I will personally impale any and all wrong doers in the steps of the Governor's mansion. If you are a child molester, rapist, drug dealer or terrorist you will be IMPALED!"

...but with Vampires instead of Ninjas.

Georgia vs. Gordon Lee

Via iFanboy:

Gordon Lee Trial Date Set - CBLDF Needs Your Help!

The Comic Book Legal Defense Fund urgently needs your help. This August, the long-running case of Georgia v. Gordon Lee will finally go to trial, with court costs expected to hit $20,000.

For nearly three years the Fund has defended Georgia retailer Gordon Lee, seeing him through multiple arraignments and procedures, and racking up $80,000 in legal bills. The charges stem from a Halloween 2004 incident in which Lee handed out, among other free comics, an anthology featuring an excerpt from the critically acclaimed graphic novel The Salon. The segment depicted a historically accurate meeting between 20th Century art icons Georges Braque and Pablo Picasso, the latter depicted in the nude. It was a harmless sequence, no more explicit than the nudity displayed in the award winning Watchmen. Yet because the title found its way into the hands of a minor, Floyd County prosecutors hit Lee with two felony counts and five misdemeanors. The Fund eventually knocked out most of the charges, but must now defeat the two remaining misdemeanor counts of Distribution of Harmful to Minors Material, each carrying a penalty of up to one year in prison and up to $1,000 in fines.

The case is slated to go to trial the week of August 13. We urgently need your support in order to wage the best defense possible against these remaining charges, and that means raising the $20,000 that the trial is expected to cost. Here's how you can help:

Make A Monetary Donation: Every dollar counts, so please visit the cbldf.org and make a tax-deductible contribution today. As a thank-you for making a donation of $30 or more, the Fund will give you a brand new t-shirt displaying the text of the First Amendment in the shape of an American flag. Show your commitment to free speech, and your support for this very important case.

Join The CBLDF: Now is the time to join or renew your membership in the Fund. Your member dollars provide the baseline of support that we need to perform our casework, and defend your right to buy whatever comics you wish. If you join now with a basic membership of $25 you will receive a CBLDF Member Card, featuring new Groo art by the one-and-only Sergio Aragones, as well as a subscription to our news publication Busted!, and special admission to CBLDF events across the country. If you join at a level of $100 or more, you will also receive one of the new First Amendment t-shirts.

Donate Original Art & Collectibles: With summer conventions upon us, the Fund needs original art, high-grade comics, and other collectible items to make the most of our summer auctions. Please e-mail cbldf1@gmail.com for more information about how to donate to our auctions, or with a description of your intended donation. If your donation is accepted for our summer auctions, you will receive a letter of acknowledgment and a 2007 membership. To ensure that your donation is received safely, please do not send physical items until accepted by the CBLDF.

With Gordon Lee's freedom in the balance, the CBLDF needs everyone who values Free Expression in comic books to do his or her part to support this very important case. Please visit www.cbldf.org and make your contribution today.

Donations: http://cbldf.safeshopper.com/12/cat12.htm?479

Membership: http://cbldf.safeshopper.com/7/cat7.htm?945


Other Donations: cbldf1@gmail.com

I find this case especially interesting because Lee owns a store here in Georgia - Legends, to be exact. They're currently having a sale, if there are any comic geeks out there who want to help support the man and his cause.

Jeez. First that crazy Laura Mallory, now this. WTF, GA?

Nancy Grace podcast

I, for one, am no fan of Nancy Grace. So imagine my delight at finding this awesome podcast video:



Seriously, I'm still crying from laughing so hard. NOTHING is funnier than a cow humping a tractor over Nancy's shoulder. Except maybe that min-pin humping the stuffed bunny.

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Recipe Tuesday: Shrimp Salad with Warm Bacon Dressing and Summer Bruschetta

Shrimp Salad With Warm Bacon Dressing:

Ingredients:
4 slices bacon
1 bag fresh spinach leaves (6-10 ounces)
2 cups fresh pre-sliced mushrooms (rinsed)
1/2 cup fresh pre-diced tomatoes
1 lb frozen cooked shrimp (thawed)
1 medium peach (rinsed)
1/2 cup fat-free sun-dried tomato vinaigrette
1/2 teaspoon green pepper sauce

1. Cut bacon into bite-size pieces. Place in microwave-safe bowl (wash hands); cover and microwave on HIGH 3–4 minutes or until bacon is lightly crisp. Wash knife and cutting board with hot, soapy water.
2. Place spinach, mushrooms, tomatoes, and shrimp in salad bowl. Peel peach; discard peel and seed. Cut peach into bite-size pieces; add to salad bowl.
3. Stir vinaigrette and pepper sauce into bacon and drippings (Ed. note: GROSS!). Cover and microwave on HIGH 1 minute or until hot. Pour mixture over salad; toss well and serve.

Summer Bruschetta:

Ingredients:
1 Bakery baguette
4 large fresh basil leaves (rinsed)
2 ounces fresh mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup fresh pre-diced tomatoes
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons basil pesto
1 tablespoon diced pimientos

1. Cut bread in half lengthwise, using an electric or serrated knife. Stack basil leaves and slice into thin strips; cut mozzarella into bite-size pieces. Set both aside.
2. Combine remaining ingredients in small bowl; spread onto bread halves. Top with mozzarella and basil. Slice bruschetta and serve.

The major problem I had with this recipe (aside from using bacon drippings as a salad dressing base) was the directive to prepare the bruschetta first, put it aside, and then make the salad. Random people walking by my booth would stop and try to pick up a piece of bruschetta, which I found rude (and unhygienic - that's why I wear gloves when I dish out the samples). And when I told them that it wasn't ready yet (as opposed to, "Get your grubby hands off that!" which is what I very strongly thought in their general direction), they got pissy with me. So I ended up making the bruschetta and putting it in the oven (which was off) until I was ready to serve it.

Of course, this drama is probably moot, as anyone else making this will be doing so in the comfort of their own home and is free to eat whenever they choose (or, conversely, smack the hands of anyone trying to steal a piece), but it was frustrating for me and I felt like venting, so there.

Becoming Jane

I had completely forgotten about the new Jane Austen "biopic" (quotations because one of the plot keywords on the Becoming Jane IMDb page is "Fictional Biography") being released this year until I read this post on Old Grey Pony. I first heard about this movie last year, when I read an interview with Anne Hathaway in which she talked about reading and studying up for the role. Here's the trailer:



It looks interesting. I'm thinking they took a Shakespeare in Love-type approach to the story - just as Viola provided the inspiration for Juliet, Tom Lefroy is the inspiration for Mr. Darcy. Apparently.

I've read all of Austen's novels, and I'm about halfway done with Lady Susan, The Watsons, and Sandition, but I'm sadly ignorant of her life. I do know that she never married, although she was once engaged for a day or so before calling it off. So I'll be taking the biographical info from the movie with a grain of salt. I will definitely see it, though, for James McAvoy if nothing else.