Saturday, December 18, 2004

Things I learned today...

1. The Braves have traded for Tim Hudson, formerly of the A's (my third-favorite team). Now if they could just get Eric Chavez, I'd be an extremely happy girl.

2. America is WAY too dependent on oil. Osama's threats wouldn't affect us if we'd just hurry up and get some electric cars already. Speaking of, I saw a bummer sticker today that said, "My other car is a hybrid." Unfortunately, it was on the back of an SUV.

3. I hate cell phones. I recently had dinner with a friend, and her phone started to ring. We were in the middle of a conversation, so I figured she would either ignore it, or send the call to voice mail. Oh, no. She not only answered the phone, she proceeded to have a five minute conversation with the person on the other end while I was just sitting there, twiddling my thumbs. When she finally got off the phone, she recounted the entire conversation for me, as if I had not been sitting less than a foot away, and clearly able to hear it for myself. A few minutes later, I was in mid-sentence when she reached down and answered it again. Ack! So rude! But what really drove me over the edge today was all the annoying ring tones at work, many of which were ignored by the owner. If you're not going to answer it, at least turn it off.

4. I am an even bigger dork than I realized. We received a large shipment of decorative pillows today. To make room for them, I removed all of one style of pillow from the "pillow wall" and placed them in boxes in the aisle of the store. When the Home Store ASM asked if we would have enough room for the new pillows, I told him that we just needed to rearrange the old ones on the wall so that there wouldn't be gaps between them, and that this would free up at least two shelves of space. Except I described it as, "defragging the pillow wall." Luckily, he understood what I meant and merely thought I had used a clever metaphor.

5. Spanglish is a really good movie, and my spanish is a lot better than I thought it was. Not only was I able to understand the majority of what Paz Vega was saying, but I also spent my entire car drive home translating the songs on the radio into spanish. See? Dork!

6. Tequila is BAD. I learned this a long time ago, but my roommate has just walked in the door, piss-drunk on the stuff, and she's being loud and complaining about how much she hates it. She's also telling me how much she loves me and asking the dog to clean up the house for her. Silly drunk roommate.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Mrs. Frisby

We have a mouse at the store. She's been there a while, apparently, but the exterminator just came last week to put out a fresh batch of sticky traps (similar to flypaper) to catch it. When I first heard about it, I went all PETA on the receiving manager, Gerald: "You guys aren't going to hurt it, are you? You'll set it free after you catch it, right?" But he just laughed at me.

I have a rep at work for being a bleeding-heart animal lover - as it stands, I am the only vegetarian there, and I was ridiculed mercilessly for saving a black widow spider and releasing it outside, only to learn later that someone else had seen it and stepped on it. So, they knew I would be all gung-ho for saving the mouse. Until I walked into my office last week and discovered that it had eaten some of the chocolate sitting in a candy dish on my desk.

This meant war. You don't mess with a girl's chocolate.

I decided to use it as bait. I got one of the sticky traps from Gerald, and we put it in my visual room with some of the chocolate in the center. If it wanted the chocolate, it would have to step on the trap, where it would be stuck until we could dispose of it (humanely). Well, it seemed like a good idea...until I walked in this morning and saw that the mouse had moved one piece of chocolate so that it formed a bridge to the other piece, so that it wouldn't need to step on the sticky part of the trap to get to it! I have no idea how the mouse accomplished this, but I do know that I have a whole new respect for it. I named it Mrs. Frisby (after the Secret of NIMH) and have decided that we'll probably never catch her, because she seems way too smart.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Mullet dude

Ian and John's mulleted collegiate friend, Sean, never brushed his teeth, washed ONLY his hair when taking a shower, chased beer with peanut butter and zingers (because he didn't like the taste, but wanted to get drunk), and he still managed to leave the bar every night with a girl. When commenting on the types of girls he would chat up, however, Ian said, "He starts out at Boardwalk (meaning, the really hot ones) and ends up at Baltic," which I thought was really amusing at the time and wrote down so I'd remember it. Of course, I also had quite a bit to drink because John kept refilling my beer, so it might just be the drunk talking. And...that's about all I remember from trivia tonight.