Saturday, December 18, 2004

Things I learned today...

1. The Braves have traded for Tim Hudson, formerly of the A's (my third-favorite team). Now if they could just get Eric Chavez, I'd be an extremely happy girl.

2. America is WAY too dependent on oil. Osama's threats wouldn't affect us if we'd just hurry up and get some electric cars already. Speaking of, I saw a bummer sticker today that said, "My other car is a hybrid." Unfortunately, it was on the back of an SUV.

3. I hate cell phones. I recently had dinner with a friend, and her phone started to ring. We were in the middle of a conversation, so I figured she would either ignore it, or send the call to voice mail. Oh, no. She not only answered the phone, she proceeded to have a five minute conversation with the person on the other end while I was just sitting there, twiddling my thumbs. When she finally got off the phone, she recounted the entire conversation for me, as if I had not been sitting less than a foot away, and clearly able to hear it for myself. A few minutes later, I was in mid-sentence when she reached down and answered it again. Ack! So rude! But what really drove me over the edge today was all the annoying ring tones at work, many of which were ignored by the owner. If you're not going to answer it, at least turn it off.

4. I am an even bigger dork than I realized. We received a large shipment of decorative pillows today. To make room for them, I removed all of one style of pillow from the "pillow wall" and placed them in boxes in the aisle of the store. When the Home Store ASM asked if we would have enough room for the new pillows, I told him that we just needed to rearrange the old ones on the wall so that there wouldn't be gaps between them, and that this would free up at least two shelves of space. Except I described it as, "defragging the pillow wall." Luckily, he understood what I meant and merely thought I had used a clever metaphor.

5. Spanglish is a really good movie, and my spanish is a lot better than I thought it was. Not only was I able to understand the majority of what Paz Vega was saying, but I also spent my entire car drive home translating the songs on the radio into spanish. See? Dork!

6. Tequila is BAD. I learned this a long time ago, but my roommate has just walked in the door, piss-drunk on the stuff, and she's being loud and complaining about how much she hates it. She's also telling me how much she loves me and asking the dog to clean up the house for her. Silly drunk roommate.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Mrs. Frisby

We have a mouse at the store. She's been there a while, apparently, but the exterminator just came last week to put out a fresh batch of sticky traps (similar to flypaper) to catch it. When I first heard about it, I went all PETA on the receiving manager, Gerald: "You guys aren't going to hurt it, are you? You'll set it free after you catch it, right?" But he just laughed at me.

I have a rep at work for being a bleeding-heart animal lover - as it stands, I am the only vegetarian there, and I was ridiculed mercilessly for saving a black widow spider and releasing it outside, only to learn later that someone else had seen it and stepped on it. So, they knew I would be all gung-ho for saving the mouse. Until I walked into my office last week and discovered that it had eaten some of the chocolate sitting in a candy dish on my desk.

This meant war. You don't mess with a girl's chocolate.

I decided to use it as bait. I got one of the sticky traps from Gerald, and we put it in my visual room with some of the chocolate in the center. If it wanted the chocolate, it would have to step on the trap, where it would be stuck until we could dispose of it (humanely). Well, it seemed like a good idea...until I walked in this morning and saw that the mouse had moved one piece of chocolate so that it formed a bridge to the other piece, so that it wouldn't need to step on the sticky part of the trap to get to it! I have no idea how the mouse accomplished this, but I do know that I have a whole new respect for it. I named it Mrs. Frisby (after the Secret of NIMH) and have decided that we'll probably never catch her, because she seems way too smart.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Mullet dude

Ian and John's mulleted collegiate friend, Sean, never brushed his teeth, washed ONLY his hair when taking a shower, chased beer with peanut butter and zingers (because he didn't like the taste, but wanted to get drunk), and he still managed to leave the bar every night with a girl. When commenting on the types of girls he would chat up, however, Ian said, "He starts out at Boardwalk (meaning, the really hot ones) and ends up at Baltic," which I thought was really amusing at the time and wrote down so I'd remember it. Of course, I also had quite a bit to drink because John kept refilling my beer, so it might just be the drunk talking. And...that's about all I remember from trivia tonight.

Monday, November 29, 2004


Ok, I know the election's been over for about a month now, but Chris sent this to me and I found it amusing:

Apparently, it was being passed around on the UGA Law School ListServe and caused a bit of controversy...

Monday, November 15, 2004

The people you meet in bars...

Today was a very interesting day. I went over to Michelle's and hung out with her and the boys while they got their family Christmas portraits taken.

One of the "practice pictures" taken at the house before we left for Olan Mills. Are these guys adorable, or what? :o) Michelle and I also went to O'Charley's for dinner (leaving the boys at home, to fend for themselves), and then to the Gladiators/Sea Wolves game. Which was awesome, by the way. We (and by "we" I mean the Gladiators, just in case you were wondering) won in overtime. And I was really happy that Chris Durno scored the game-tying goal, because those Sea Wolves players were beating up on him all night and I figured that was poetic justice. Especially since we scored again (and won!) 40 seconds into overtime. Anyway, the game was great. The strange thing happened when we went to Summits after the game for a beer.

I'm used to having weird older guys come up and talk to me while I'm there, because it's a bar and I'm a pretty approachable person. So, Michelle and I are drinking and talking and laughing (loudly) when this guy comes up and kinda starts hitting on us. He asks if he can ditch the chick he's sitting with now, sit with us, and offers to pay for our beers and food. We accept, because hey! it's free beer and he seems ok, really funny and maybe just a little bit strange, but what the hell. So he sits down with us. We're talking, and I have my beer passport laying on the table. It has my full name on it. He glances at it, then pushes it to the side. Calls me by my first name (and this is before we've introduced ourselves) and starts messing around with me, "predicting" all this stuff that's strangely spot-on. Like that I have one younger sister, I've lived in Snellville pretty much my whole life, I was a Girl Scout for a number of years, my mom's an accountant, and I grew up with a father figure who was not my biological dad. Needless to say, I was a little freaked out, so I start asking him how he knows so much about me. Michelle and I figure I must know him from somewhere, but I don't recognize him at all. He FINALLY hands over a business card, and I'm still a little freaked. Because this guy is a rather prominent businessman in our town, he's a client of my mom's, my friend works for him, he used to live down the street from my current roommate, and I was in Girl Scouts with his step-daughter for a few years. Luckily, he hadn't been hitting on me so hardcore that this realization was especially awkward or anything, but he did ask me not to mention it to my mom or my friend that works for him. Yeesh. Michelle and I actually ended up talking to him for a few hours, mostly about our mutual acquaintances and the randomness that comes with living in a small town for one's entire life. Michelle always teases me about knowing someone everywhere we go (and we did run into someone I knew everywhere we went today, with the exception of Olan Mills), but this was just too weird. And it's strange to think that I'm reaching an age at which my friends' dads will try to pick me up in bars. A little creepy, too.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

If you didn't vote today, I guess you're dead by now...

Overheard at work today (one old lady talking to another):
"What you have to do, is vote the way Jesus would. That's why I voted for Bush, and I've been praying every night that he'll win."

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

It's officially "Dork Day"

I found this quiz on some random person's journal and thought, why not? It may help me come up with a character for my next campaign.

I Am A: Lawful Good Elf Ranger Mage

Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.

Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existence.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they are quite skilled at. Mielikki's symbol is a unicorn head.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

It's sad how close that is to my first D&D character. (Wicket was a Lawful Neutral Gnome Druid, for those of you who are interested. She also had a badger familiar named "Tony Danza" that would go into a berserker rage after repeated kicks from Charlie's Elf Monk.) For my next one, I'm going with a half-orc barbarian. At least then I'll be able to get in the fighting and kick ass, as opposed to sitting on the sidelines, casting spells.

New quiz (found 01/10/05):

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Lo! Who is that, prowling through the freeway! It is Bunny_bread, hands clutching a studded crowbar! She roars mightily:

"I'm going to contort you like it's a new extreme sport, and roll you in creamy nougat!!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Can you imagine a barbarian saying all that before slicing someone in half? Yeah, me neither. And dammit, they spelled nougat "neugut." Clearly, they were not true dorks.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

'Cause ninjas are totally sweet...

Did you know?

1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

It's true. Check out Real Ultimate Power. But only if you're ready to get pumped up!

4 down, 96 to go...

Another Saturday night, another beer on the Summit's Beer Passport...
This time, it was Foster's, which I always thought was "Australian for beer." Turns out, it's Canadian. WTF?

Liz was upset about a speeding ticket she got while driving down to her niece's birthday party today, so we traded stupid beer/bar-themed jokes to cheer her up. A few of my favorites:

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch."

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "The usual, Rene?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And POOF! he disappears.

A man walks into a bar and orders three pints of Guinness. He drinks them, pays and leaves. The next day, at the same time, he walks in, orders three pints of Guinness, drinks them, pays, and leaves. This goes on for several weeks, until the bartender finally asks what the deal is. The guy explains, "I'm from Ireland. My two brothers, Sean and Patrick, still live over there, so every day we all order three pints and drink them. It's our way of remembering each other." The bartender thinks this a cool idea and word gets around the bar about the guy's little family tradition. It continues until one day, when the Irish guy comes in and orders only two pints. Everyone gets silent, and the bartender gives him the beers, telling him that he's sorry for his loss. The Irish guy finishes them and then says, "Oh, don't worry. Sean and Patrick are fine. I've just decided to give up drinking."

A man walks into a bar. There's a horse in the corner with a sign over it that says, "Free beer if you can make this horse laugh." He goes over to the horse and whispers in his ear. The horse starts laughing; the guy gets his free beer and leaves. The next week, he walks into the same bar, and sees a different sign: "Free beer if you can make this horse cry." The guy goes over to the horse, whispers in his ear, and they go into a back room for a few minutes. When they come back out, sure enough, the horse is crying. The guy goes to get his free beer and the bartender says, "Ok, I gotta know. How did you make the horse laugh?" The guy says, "Oh, that's easy. I told him my dick was bigger than his." The bartender nods and says, "Ok, but how did you make him cry?" And the guy says, "I showed him."

Saturday, September 25, 2004


The check-out guy at Kroger, "Russ," totally pissed me off tonight. I had been making conversation with two guys buying beer who were standing in line in front of me, and when they got to the check-out, Russ said to them, "Muchas gracias. Cuidado. Hasta luego." I guess the "cuidado" was because they were buying beer, but it didn't make sense anyway because THEY WERE ASIAN, NOT HISPANIC! They did not LOOK Hispanic, nor were they talking to each other in a language that was even remotely Spanish, so I have no idea how Russ could've thought they were. But they took it in stride, laughing and responding, "Gracias, senor," but with really Southern-sounding accents (mimicking, I guess, Russ's own accent). I wouldn't have been annoyed had Russ also spoken to me in Spanish, but when I got to him I had to listen to a rant about the dangers of being drunk (which they were not; they were laughing at Russ's mistake) and "ending up plastered to the sidewalks" and how we would then have to "ship them back to Mexico in a pine box." Whatever, Russ. Shut up.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

The most awesome thing anyone's ever said to me...

I was singing along with the oldies music at work today (as I am wont to do) when Kimberly and I had this little conversation:

Kim: You were a chorus girl in school, weren't you?
Me: (sheepishly) Yeah.
Kim: You know, I could so picture you as one of those singers in a jazz club, with the cello and the smoke and everything... Or maybe lounging on a piano, wearing a sparkly dress...
See, one of my pipe dreams (as far as jobs go) has been to do just that. It probably started after I saw Jennifer Connelly in Dark City. Anyway, it totally made my day. Yay!

Monday, September 13, 2004

I guess keyboards are making a comeback...

Just got home from the 99X Upstart Fest Part 2. It was amazing! We got there right before The Whigs went on, so we got to see them, the Scissor Sisters, The Killers, and Franz Ferdinand. And Parade Kid, who wasn't a band, but rather a 30-year-old man who dresses up as an elf and attends parades in his hometown of Douglasville. Yeah, it was weird to me, too.

Some highlights:
* Calandro, one of the DJs for the radio station, was walking around with some chick and my sister goes, "Hey, it's Calandro!" She must have said it pretty loudly (not surprising, given that she was drunk - and hiccuping), because he turned around, came over, and introduced himself to our little group. Sis asked if the girl with him was his girlfriend, and after learning that she was not, asked her to kiss Calandro, which she did. That made him (and my silly drunk sister) very happy.
* There were a group of beefy, redneck-looking guys standing near us just before the Scissor Sisters went on. I figured they were just there for the booze, but as soon as SS took the stage, they went wild! Dancing, singing along, the whole bit. For those of you who have not heard of or seen the Scissor Sisters, they're kind of a disco-pop-glam rock band, with a very flamboyant lead singer. It was one of the best live bands I've ever seen, and I was really happy to see that group of men getting so into the music. Hooray for busting stereotypes!
* A bunch of people started crowd-surfing during The Killers, which was annoying because I couldn't watch the band. I had to keep turning around to make sure no one was about to fall on me. This did provide an excellent way to meet people, however. One chick we started talking to took a fancy to Chris, and they now have a date to watch The Killers in Athens later this week. Yay!
* During Franz Ferdinand's set, some guys standing next to us decided to spark up. A security guy from the music park caught them and walked them to the edge of the crowd, informing them that they wouldn't be arrested, but they would be searched, forced to hand over whatever weed they had, and then kicked out of the park. Will and I figured that meant the security guys would be having a fun time later tonight...
* Driving home, I almost got ran off the road by an emo kid we had seen at the concert. I guess he didn't realize the lane he was in was a left turn only lane, and that the lanes shifted after the light, because he came barreling into mine. Luckily, the road was relatively clear and I was able to scoot over to the next lane before he hit me, but this did cause me to let loose with a string of expletives and a tirade on why stupid people shouldn't be allowed to drive.