Another Saturday night, another beer on the Summit's Beer Passport...
This time, it was Foster's, which I always thought was "Australian for beer." Turns out, it's Canadian. WTF?
Liz was upset about a speeding ticket she got while driving down to her niece's birthday party today, so we traded stupid beer/bar-themed jokes to cheer her up. A few of my favorites:
A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch."
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "The usual, Rene?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And POOF! he disappears.
A man walks into a bar and orders three pints of Guinness. He drinks them, pays and leaves. The next day, at the same time, he walks in, orders three pints of Guinness, drinks them, pays, and leaves. This goes on for several weeks, until the bartender finally asks what the deal is. The guy explains, "I'm from Ireland. My two brothers, Sean and Patrick, still live over there, so every day we all order three pints and drink them. It's our way of remembering each other." The bartender thinks this a cool idea and word gets around the bar about the guy's little family tradition. It continues until one day, when the Irish guy comes in and orders only two pints. Everyone gets silent, and the bartender gives him the beers, telling him that he's sorry for his loss. The Irish guy finishes them and then says, "Oh, don't worry. Sean and Patrick are fine. I've just decided to give up drinking."
A man walks into a bar. There's a horse in the corner with a sign over it that says, "Free beer if you can make this horse laugh." He goes over to the horse and whispers in his ear. The horse starts laughing; the guy gets his free beer and leaves. The next week, he walks into the same bar, and sees a different sign: "Free beer if you can make this horse cry." The guy goes over to the horse, whispers in his ear, and they go into a back room for a few minutes. When they come back out, sure enough, the horse is crying. The guy goes to get his free beer and the bartender says, "Ok, I gotta know. How did you make the horse laugh?" The guy says, "Oh, that's easy. I told him my dick was bigger than his." The bartender nods and says, "Ok, but how did you make him cry?" And the guy says, "I showed him."