Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Seeing ex-boyfriends kinda sucks

Josh, my college boyfriend, is in town this week, doing a training thing for work. Although we agreed to stay friends after the break-up (doesn't everyone say that?), we only kinda sorta kept in touch (talking on aim every once in a while, exchanging emails once or twice a year) and it had been awhile since we'd actually seen each other. When he told me he was coming to Atl, I immediately asked if we could get together, fully expecting a no, since that's been his standard answer for the past few years. But this time, he agreed. He called me on Sunday after he checked into his hotel, and we went to dinner and then out for a few drinks. It was fun, talking to him and catching up. A little awkward at first, but not too bad. We went out again tonight, and talked about all our friends from college that we don't don't really keep in touch with anymore. Seeing him these past couple of days made me remember why I fell for him in the first place - although I'm sure some people *coughErincough* are probably still scratching their heads at that one. :) I'm actually amazed we were able to stay together for two and half years, given how different our personalities and interests are.

I'm pretty cynical when it comes to relationships, but I'm a big believer in love. I'm of the opinion that if you really love someone, that love you feel never goes away. It may change (from romantic to platonic, or vice-versa), but it'll always be there. I'm not still in love with Josh, but I do care about him and want him to be happy. When he dropped me off at the house tonight, he told me that he was going to a Braves game tomorrow, doing a work presentation Thursday evening, and then leaving on Friday, so we wouldn't be able to go out again this week. We hugged, and said our goodbyes, and that was that. I'm a little depressed right now, but also glad that I got to talk to him. I almost feel like this is the sort of closure I've been waiting for for the past 3 years. He lives in Iowa now, and is talking about transferring to South America in the next few years, so there's no telling when (or if) we'll ever see each other again. Probably never, but you never know.

So...yeah. I'm gonna go read comics or something now to cheer myself up.

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